isurvivedthekobayashimaru:

I was at walmart the other day, and I was sitting on a bench waiting for my mom to pay, and I was braiding my hair because that’s something I do when I’m bored, and this dude walks by and says, “hey baby, what else can you do with your hands?” I gave him my most polite smile and said in the sweetest way possible, “strangle you.”

And I think I actually scared him because his eyes got kind of wide and he just walked away.

big-booty-itches:

when your parents ask you to help them with technology

potential-and-difference:

prop-215:

dazegetbrighter:

what if rocks are actually soft but just tense up when we touch them?

How stoned are you right now?

Was that a fucking pun?

laugh-addict:

When I’m told to clean:

3mexicansandaturtle:

I want to see how many people do